The evolution of Motherhood

I remember from the time I was little the only thing I really wanted to be when I grew up was a Mom. Not very “progressive”, I know, but it’s the truth.

We were very poor growing up and rarely had any new toys. Instead they were passed down from one child to the next.

The neighbor girls I tried to hang out with had Barbie Dolls that came with different outfits you could dress them in.

I had one doll, and she wasn’t a petite little doll, but more of an old-fashioned Dolly with eyes that would close when you laid her down. And with one arm missing. 

But I loved that doll and would carry her around everywhere making sure she was warm and safe and loved.

I was also very gentle with her. Her head started to crack and I was so very careful when brushing her sparse hair, trying to keep her together the best I could.

Unlike my Mom who would brush my hair so hard each morning and pull it back into the tightest ponytail ever. If I moved or made a fuss about it, she’d crack me on the head with the brush and tell me to hold still.

Which is how I ended up with a pixie cut.

No need for a ponytail

After Mom died, when I was 11, I stopped playing with dolls. That was about the same time my Dolly only had one eye that would close when I laid her down.

So I put her away and concentrated on whatever task was in front of me.

My biggest desire then was to get through school and start my life. I had friends I would hang out with, and enjoyed being a teenager, but I wanted to be an adult way too quickly.

My goal was to get married and have children and be a mom as soon as possible.

Which is probably why I got married at 16, the first time. But, I’ve already written that story.

After graduation I left my old life behind and headed west to start over. I had a moment when I decided that being a mother wasn’t what was most important to me. No, I was going to be a career woman.

How funny, looking back now and not realizing then, that it would take exactly one second looking into my first child’s eyes to know I was right where I wanted to be.

The beginning of Motherhood for me

I not only loved being pregnant, I adored being a mother.

I’ve often said it was my favorite job of all time. I don’t remember any “stage” of their childhood that I didn’t like, except maybe the one that took them out of the house and on their own.

But that was just a moment of selfishness, because I raised them to be independent men, and that’s exactly what they are.

Now that I am nearing 60 and I can see them both treating me differently.

I’m no longer the mommy that takes care of them, but instead they have a gentleness towards me that speaks volumes of the care and concern they have for my wellbeing.

Best part of Motherhood

It is strange to be on this side of motherhood because I have always been the caregiver. But I can already tell, if the time ever comes in maybe 40 years or so, they will care for me.


Reader Comments

  1. Serena West

    Loretta, this brings tears to my eyes. I’m still in the middle of being “mommy” and some days are really hard, but I agree it’s the best job ever! It brings me so much joy to see your two boys – now men – with their arms around you, and helps me not dread the day that mine leave the nest. Thank you taking us on all of your thought journeys, I can relate to so much. You are truly inspiring in your authenticity!

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      Serena, thank you so much. Wow, it is interesting to look back on some of these older posts and see how much my writing has improved! I appreciate you following along my journey. Xx

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