The Dance – If you want him to move towards you – Step back

Let’s see….where did I leave off?

Oh yeah, with John running off. Can you believe after months of a friendship and then just one night together he ran?

I actually could. Predicted it even.

The good news: I knew John well enough at that point and suspected it would take a lot of patience if we were ever going to be anything more than friends.

The bad news: I was irritated by his behavior just the same. There was no reason to not meet for coffee or join me in a tennis game or go hiking. Something! But, nope, he wouldn’t meet up with me.

So I got busy with my own life. 

I read his column each week and we would still chat on the phone and text, but that was it. Finally one day just before I was leaving for a trip to see my son, his wife, and new baby for Thanksgiving, he said he wanted to see me.

He was coming my way and we agreed to meet for coffee.

On the day we were going to meet up, I left to go visit my best friend instead. I wasn’t about to sit around and wait for some guy to show up, when and if he decided he wanted to.

Estelle and I met at a shopping mall between our two cities and had a blast. I laughed and tried on fun clothes and funny hats.

About 30 minutes before John and I were to meet, he texted and said he couldn’t make it.

I laughed and text back, no worries, I’m out with a friend anyway.

It felt good to let him know I wasn’t waiting around for him. After that I flew to Mississippi to be with my kids for the holiday. I had so much fun and didn’t want to go back home to Napa.

Napa didn’t have anything for me anymore. I had no family there. My only friend I had, was my friend Lisa from Bend who had moved there to be near her family. She felt the same way about Napa that I did, and was looking to move on as well.

By the time December came, I had devised a plan to go back to Mississippi for Christmas and New Years and take my oldest son with me. I didn’t have the money for us to fly, so I decided we were going to drive my little Nissan Versa.

That trip will go down as one of my all time favorite things I’ve ever done.

I drove from Napa to Santa Barbara, with Bella riding shotgun and we picked up Adam and headed east.

The trip begins!

We stopped at The Grand Canyon, Meteor Crater, and The Cadillac Ranch on our way to Mississippi.

Grand Canyon
Meteor Crater, Arizona
The Cadillac Ranch, Amarillo, Texas

We arrived in time for Christmas Eve dinner and for Adam to meet his niece for the very first time. My heart was so full and happy.

Christmas 2011
Hi Uncle Adam!

The following week, we toured the Naval Base, went on hikes and took a lot of pictures. We celebrated Adam’s birthday and then New Year’s Eve together. It was all so perfect.

Tour of the base
Flight simulator
My son and daughter in law in Mississippi
Our sweet Layla

John was texting me throughout, and I could tell he was lonely. I shared photos of my kids and my granddaughter and he shared that he spent NYE alone.

On our way back home, Adam and I stopped at Roswell to check out the Aliens, drove up to Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona to see the stars, and then hiked the red rocks of Sedona.

Not on my watch!
Roswell Aliens
Sedona, Arizona

When we pulled into my driveway in Napa, the trip odometer read 5,000 miles and the calendar read January 4, 2012.

5,000 miles of fun!

On January 5, 2012 John was at my house….

Reader Comments

  1. Cindy Scurry

    I love your family pics! Adam reminds me of my son in a way. You were so skinny! I love your trip and that you didn’t wait at home for John. He deserved some of his own medicine! 😉

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      Ha! Thank yo Cindy.

      We have so many funny photos from that trip. Loved it so much. (and I was so skinny!)

      I bet you have some wonderful memories of you and your son to hold onto.

      And, yep…John deserved a taste of his own medicine for sure! lol

  2. Wendy Allott

    You are so beautiful with your kids and growing family. I hope I have the same strong relationship with my too boys when they’re grown up.

    Love that you didn’t wait around for John to get his act together. But I think I missed part of the story – what was that about the night together?

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      Thank you Wendy.

      I’m sure you will as I know you are a good mom.

      If you click on the highlighted link in the beginning – “John running off” it will take you to the post about our one night together!

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