We teach people how to treat us

I’ve been called out a few times for sharing too much here on my blog. Every time this happens it shakes me slightly. I start to question my motives, and self-doubt creeps in. Which is interesting, because working through self-doubt is really why I’m doing this.

Most of my life I’ve been told to be quiet and keep my ‘dirty laundry’ hidden. Other people have told me how I should be acting, what I should be saying, how I am supposed to think, and even how I’m supposed to look.

I’m not blaming anyone for that; it’s something I’ve allowed to happen. I am the only one in charge of me. It’s interesting how easy it became to allow others to direct me so much. I would love to say I have figured out why, but like I said, that’s why I’m here.

Spending time on introspection has not always an easy task for me. During my 17-year marriage I blamed my husband for most of the crap that was going on between us. To me he was always telling me what to do, and it took a good friend to point that out, towards the end of that marriage.

He said, “We teach people how to treat us”. Those words have stuck with me all of these years.

We teach people how to treat us.

What does that mean? I have spent way too much time in my life reacting to other people, and allowing them to treat me in a way I do not want to be.

And then complaining about it.

And it gets worse, as you will read later in the story. This isn’t a lesson I learned overnight, that’s for sure. And I am still working on applying it to my everyday life. It’s easy to say I’m an independent woman who rules my own world, and a lot harder to practice it.

So when I get called out for not doing something right or the way someone else wants me to do it, I’m going to listen and thank him or her. And then continue to write my story.

Thank you for following along.

We teach people how to treat us


Reader Comments

  1. Lisa

    Glad you’re going to continue writing. It’s your blog. If people don’t like what you write, they can move on. And as my dad used to say ‘ignore the should, would, could’. Ignore all those people telling you what you ‘should’ do. Hard to practice I know. Can’t tell you how many times I hear dad’s voice in my head when I fail to ignore the should.

  2. littlemissw

    Isn’t it interesting how people want you to stop saying things that make you feel uncomfortable or make them look at their own lives differently? It’s your story so it’s up to you how much you share. I’m sure your ex would have his own take on the story but you shouldn’t have to censor yourself for his, or anyone else’s, benefit.

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