The road less traveled

My husband’s job is in outside sales. Because of that, he is on the road a lot. Most weeks he’s gone three or four days, traveling around southern California, into Nevada and Arizona. It’s a good job for him, because he’s a bit of a wanderer anyway.

It’s good for me too, because I get time to myself to do my own thing. That, and the toilet seat’s down the entire week. But there are times I like to tag along with him. And that’s what we did this week.

It was fun riding shotgun and taking in the views along the drive.

Taking in the sights along the road
Seven Magic Mountains – spotted it from Hwy 15 near Vegas

It was also fun to have a lot of time to talk about all sorts of topics. When John was writing for the Benicia Herald, we would have long talks about relationships and the differences between men and women. It would give him something to think and write about for his column.

Now that I’m the one writing, we still have great conversations, and sometimes it gives me a chance to talk things through before writing them down. Yesterday we got on the topic of online dating, as we do at times, and it reminded me of when I first dipped my toe into online dating.

It was back in 2006 and I was 47 years old. I was divorced and my kids were grown and out on their own. While my dog was great company, a part of me was longing for a hug from someone other than a four-pound Chihuahua.

my sweet Bella
My sweet Bella

I’d never had trouble finding a date before, but things were different from when I’d first moved to that town. Back in 1978 when I was 19, the ratio of women to men was something like 1:7. Those odds worked very well in my favor.

But in 2006, not only were the odds not in my favor, neither was my age. Most 40 something single men came with baggage from their previous marriage (of course I didn’t!). And a lot of them were also interested in way younger women.

So I decided to try this online dating thing. But, I had decided, I was going to use eHarmony so I would have a better chance of finding the right person. I got online, paid the $35 and started filling out my profile.

This was no easy task.

Three hours later it was complete, and I hit the done button. And waited. As their algorithm went to work looking for possible matches for me, I waited, watching with anticipation.

Finally, the waiting was over and my matches were revealed. Or so I’d hoped. What was reveal instead was a big fat nothing. eHarmony told me there were no matches in my town for me. None.

How could there not be one single possible match for me? Intellectually, I guessed that it was probably because there weren’t very many men using eHarmony at the time. But emotionally, all I could think about was there were no single men for me.

Looking back on this and chatting with John about it, we laughed. It was pretty funny. Just not so much at the time.

And I certainly didn’t know, at the time, just where and who this online dating road would lead me to.


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