“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it…”

Looking on-line at other women’s blogs and social media, I’ve noticed that most are about fashion. At first I felt like I usually do – that I don’t fit in, and I should change what I’m doing.

Growing up in a small town in the mid-west, as a poor kid, I never really felt like I fit in anywhere. All the other kids seem to have very different lives than I did. In elementary school, I remember being embarrassed that all of my clothes were handmade.

One day in sixth grade stands out for me as a particularly humiliating day. That morning while getting dressed for school, I thought it would be a good idea to wear panty hose. They were in then, and I wanted to be in too. So I found a pair that was in my sister’s drawer and proudly pulled them on. I felt good, and like a grown up too.

Only I was in elementary school. With recess and a playground. And I was also a tomboy. It didn’t take long before those uncomfortable panty hose had several unsightly runs in them. And, boy did I get teased for that. I remember crouching down behind the side of the building crying, feeling like an ugly duckling.

I didn’t try to be fashionable again until I was in my 20’s. But I never found a style. So I just let it go. I had a farm back then and all I really needed was farm clothes. I remember one time when I was visiting a friend in the city, and she wanted to take me shopping. She said it was time to dress up the farm girl and by the time she was done, I looked pretty good. I felt like I fit in with the women around me.

As those few things wore out, I had no idea what to replace them with, so I went back to my plain farm look. Which apparently was t-shirts that were two sizes too big for me. My best friend finally took me shopping and found several very pretty well-fitting tops for me.

Even now when I go clothes shopping, I need her to go with me and help me pick out what looks good. She usually finds things I would never try on my own. And as far as accessories go, I don’t have a clue at all. I think that’s why I still feel like I don’t fit in.

Looking at all the beautiful, fashionable women on-line, I thought I should probably gear my blog a little more towards fashion. Then I looked down at what I was wearing and laughed.

I’m going to stick to what I’m doing and remember that I don’t need to wear panty hose again.


Reader Comments

  1. Mary D.

    I enjoy reading your blog, Loretta. Who knew our lives in Hart were so similar? As to my relating to this story, my fashion faux pas on the playground was fish net stockings from my older sister’s wardrobe!! Think 6th grader looking like a chubby hooker with holes in her stockings. Oh, and did I mention the garter belt that I wore with them? Oh, gosh, I may have school nightmares when I sleep tonight!

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