I’m beginning to see a pattern

If I could only use one word to describe 1980 it would be: change.

So much happened for me in that year. I turned 21, I lost my brother, Mount St Helen’s erupted, I got married, and I got a new best friend.

I shared with you the story of turning 21 and losing my brother in an early post. Johnny died May 15, 1980, and Mount St. Helen’s erupted May 18th. It was a big deal for most of the country, and especially for those of us close enough to experience some of the ash fallout.

That day was also the 30th birthday of my new best friend, Laurie. She and her husband were close friends of Joseph’s and it was natural for her and I to become friends. What I wasn’t expecting was how close we would become.

That new friendship caused some unease with my dear friend Judy. You may recall I wrote about meeting her shortly after I moved to Bend? She had two young boys and I immediately became part of her family. But my new friend, Laurie was now taking up most of my free time.

Joseph and I would go out on double dates with Laurie and her husband. We were all very close and they kind of became my new family. Laurie was also older than me and had two young boys and we spent a lot of time together. I know that was hard for Judy.

I spent the summer planning my wedding with Laurie and Judy helping. They couldn’t have been more opposite and I was unsure which one I would ask to be my maid of honor.

This wedding was far different than the one I had when I was just 16. Matching tuxedos, ruffled shirts, personal invitations, matching brides maids dresses, and lots of lace and flowers were all the rage. There was a lot of planning to do.

It was also a great way to distract myself from my grief. It was much easier to meet with Laurie and Judy and talk about a wedding, than meet with Johnny’s wife, LeeAnn and my family and talk about a death.

So in a way, I left them behind and went on to start a new life with new people. I honestly didn’t know that at the time, and it’s only now that I can see that I was so focused on the wedding.

Joseph and I got married in a big church on August 23rd. Finding the pictures, I didn’t recall who was just to my right. In my mind it was Laurie, but Judy was my maid of honor. I guess I had replaced Judy in my mind, because I had replaced her in my life.

I’m beginning to see that moving on is my way of dealing with change.



Reader Comments

  1. Christy B

    How are your emotions doing with your taking this trip down memory lane? I hope you’re able to find comfort in walks, meditation, or whatever else helps you <3

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      I am a bit overwhelmed by it, truth be told! It’s been interesting writing about my past and finding the truth along the way. Thank you Christy…I have the beach and my bike for my activity away from this, and my husband and family for support.

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