This year started out with so much promise, which I think is how I feel every year come January 1st. I was hurtling towards my 60th birthday and wondering who I would be once Countdown to 60 turned 60.
I spent hours contemplating what my new moniker would be, agonizing over the right name. When I asked my readers for help so many suggestions poured in I had to use a giant whiteboard to add all the descriptors.
I was looking for the new “me” and having a hell of a time finding her, so I made some other changes.
In April of 2018, I decided to stop dying my hair and see what my natural color was. I had a faint idea it was mousy brown, but I hoped to join the silver sisters wagon and flaunt my gray proudly.
After a year of letting it grow out, I couldn’t take the dyed ends and just over a month before my birthday I had my hairdresser chop off all that wasn’t “natural”. I loved it and hated it all at once.
My hair was part of my identity and I could hear Amy March yelling, “Your one true beauty!” as I tried to embrace my new look. Somehow with that haircut came the clarity to just be me and I settled on lorettasayers.com.
I couldn’t use my name for Instagram so I just picked up my tagline as my new name and the Introspective Adventurer was born.
It was now time to focus on the preparations for my big day.
My family and friends gathered around me for a weekend celebration like none I’ve ever had. Many of my friends far away and my online community made sure to celebrate with me as well. It was even more than I had dreamed of.
Everything was just perfect. Even with my short hair.
But you know that person who peeks in high school? Well, I am pretty sure my year peeked with my 60th birthday. I was no longer Countdown to 60 and lost my footing somehow.
I’m not sad about that, honestly. Life has a way of righting itself and if we don’t go through the lows how are we going to have any of the highs?
As my year progressed great things happened.
In the midst of a great loss, I also packed us up and we moved to a bright and sunny beach house. While experiencing great physical pain, I was surrounded by family and old friends to celebrate my sister’s passing.
I felt like I was in a constant push-me pull-me state and I was just holding on trying to keep my chin up and hoped once the tornado passed I wouldn’t end up in Oz. But I was definitely feeling grumpy inside.
By mid-December, I sat in the middle seat of an overcrowded plane on my way to New York with John. I grumbled to myself pretty much the entire five-hour trip as I watched movies on my phone because the monitor at my seat wasn’t working.
John enjoyed fantastic views out of his lovely window seat while I sat there feeling sorry for myself. A little voice inside me screamed, “You are supposed to be the lucky one!”
Even after we got to our tiny, dark room at our hotel I was still fuming over my bad luck. That night I went to sleep snickering at myself. I knew my attitude was what brought me right where I was and I also knew exactly how to change it.
So the next morning as John left for work, I called down to the front desk and asked for a better room. The woman on the other end of the line was kind and helpful and said she knew just the room she could move us to.
The rest of the trip was magical and I even won the ticket lottery for us to see Wicked on Broadway. I know life is what we make it. I used to say, “Whatever you think, you’re right.”
So to answer the question I started with…I guess I’d have to say, “Yes.”
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