Is it just me, or does it appear that we don’t have healthy debates anymore? It seems like we are hurling vitriol or conversely we must be overly sweet to be accepted by the collective.
What’s wrong with having different opinions?
Just because someone sees things contrary to us doesn’t necessarily mean there is a right and wrong in the situation. It doesn’t have to be, if you’re right that means I am wrong, so I must defend my position to the death. Things are not always black and white.
You may have seen the 6 and 9 illustration before, and sure, it was a 5 they were looking at this would be an entirely different conversation. But this is a perfect visual of when perspective can make all the difference. Depending upon where we are standing we may only be able to see what is right in front of us.
Our challenge then becomes to shift our perspectives. Even though we are 100% positive it is a 6 – I can see it plain as day! – we must stand on the other side long enough to at least concede there is another side.
I am not saying it is always easy to see another point of view but I believe we need to at least try.
I don’t know about you, but I am feeling the collective stress and frustrations of our society in just about every arena.
From our vastly different political state to a half-time show to an online fight over Rey and Kylo Ren’s kiss, I am shocked at the hate directed at “the other side”.
We all have our opinions and it should be okay to express them but without loathing and cruelty. It doesn’t drive the point home to insult our challenger.
On the flip side, I honestly don’t subscribe to the mantra, “If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all.” Personally, I believe working through conflicts and disparities is healthy. I’m not advocating slinging mud but rather expressing a point of view even if it isn’t agreeable.
It is time we allow for dissimilarities and embrace them as unique and even vital to our society. Can you imagine a world where we all thought the same? We wouldn’t have art and music and culture and innovation.
It all starts with a shift in perspective. So I will try and stand on the other side for a moment and just maybe I’ll see a 9.
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Reader Comments
Bravo!! We need healthy and civil debates for the good of us all. Blind faith is dangerous!
It is almost as dangerous as hateful comments…
Thank you, my friend!
I couldn’t agree more, Loretta. I’m famous (or infamous) among my friends for being ‘the pot stirrer.’ While I’m not trying to stir a pot, I’m often thinking of something from a different perspective than those around me. And I, too, love a good debate! When my sisters and I gather, we often sit around the breakfast table debating our views on many subjects. And we do it with love, respect, exasperation and, sometimes, loud voices. And we all love it (except maybe my youngest sister).
We must learn to discuss our differences with facts and respect.
I think I’d get along fine at that table with you and your sisters!
It can be so wonderful and stimulating to have a good debate. I’m glad you enjoy it too!
yes healthy debate is so important. I value other people’s opinions and argument, because I am often more informed at the end of the discussion. I may not change my mind, however…
I totally agree. I want to understand another point of view – but that doesn’t mean I will necessarily agree! X
How else do we learn than by debating and hearing the other side? I do think there are good ways not as good ways to say our side though. The best kind of debate is not where there are attacks, but when we REALLY try to understand the other side.
XOOX
Jodie
Isn’t that the truth, Jodie! We don’t need to take differences so personally. My hope is we can get back to having discussions without attacks. X
I love healthy debates and discussions. Most of the hesitation comes from unspoken assumptions…from the things we haven’t said. Our minds run a bit wild sometimes.
I call it, “the monkeys are talking”. They will take over if we let them! lol
I agree completely. Nowadays you have to walk on eggshells as people are constantly looking for ways to be offended. I long for healthy discussions but they seem to be tricky on social media.