Cool to be Kind

Have you ever felt good about yourself and happy with your body, and then see yourself in a dressing room mirror and immediately frown?

I have.

I wrote last week that after my Mom’s death at the age of 48, I’d vowed to stay healthy and fit. And for most of my life, I’ve done just that. But somewhere around age 56, that started to change for me.

Since then, it’s been more of a struggle to lose weight and keep it off.

I’ve wanted to blame menopause or that I’m married and eat what (and as much as) my husband does. Hell, I’ve even tried to (jokingly) blame my best friend. But it’s all me. 

I’ve been doing pretty well this year and have lost 15 pounds, and kept it off, so I’m proud of that. I sure noticed a difference in my knees too. Hiking this weekend was much easier.

Funny how that works.

After our fun weekend on the bike and hiking around Avila Beach, we decided to head home. John said he wanted to stop in Pismo at his favorite skate shop, because he saw a fun pair of pants there he thought I’d like.

I think it’s sweet that he thinks of me while out shopping at a skate shop and was all for stopping in to take a look.

That’s how the dressing room mirror incident came about.

I had my riding boots on, and jeans and a tee-shirt that I’d worn all weekend. My hair was a mess from wearing a helmet, and the bright lights of the dressing room were not helping me feel very confident about myself.

I tried on the groovy pants he found for me, and got out of there as fast as I could. I felt defeated.

And just as I was walking up to the counter to pay, I saw a tee-shirt that caught my attention. It read:

Kind is the new cool.

I knew I wanted it right away, but the largest size they had was medium. I bought it anyway. And you know what? It fits just fine.

I wanted that shirt to remind me of something important.

To be kind….to myself.

It’s so easy to be kind to others while forgetting to practice kindness within. I would never tell someone they look fat, so why in the world do I say that to myself?

I say it so casually to myself, I have forgotten to notice those words are cruel and damaging.

So, cool is going to start right here at home (and in a dressing room) and I’m going to be kind to that lady in the mirror. She is lovely …even if she has a few more pounds to lose.


It’s Cool to be Kind…to yourself too

Reader Comments

  1. Amy Kennedy

    Oh my goodness! I love this post! You made me smile and laugh thinking of myself in the same situation! (once I text me sister for help in the dressing room trying to get out of a sports bra!) And you brought a little tear to my eye for the beautiful reminder of how kindness begins with ourselves. You are absolutely beautiful! And you are rocking that tee!

  2. Wendy Allott

    What a wonderful reminder. Every day I tell myself I’m too fat, too short, too this, too that. I’m trying to focus on being healthy and strong. I’m trying to tell myself that weight is a number and what matters is that I’m healthy and able to play with my kids and feel good within myself. I’m trying but not always succeeding.

    So thank you for this post.

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      It is so easy to let those other words become a part of us. I loved an old saying I heard once. “You can’t trust everything you hear, even when it’s inside your head”.

      Thank you Wendy.

  3. Cindy Scurry

    It is so hard when we are not where we think we should be (me right now!). I agree we need to be kinder to ourselves. I know I’m more forgiving and accepting of myself since my son died and I was so very sad and devastated. I guess we have to keep trying to to love ourselves as we are and as we are trying to get to a healthier body!

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      I know that anniversary is coming up in just a few months for you…and I am glad to hear you became more accepting and forgiving of yourself since your unbearable loss.

      We are doing the best we can, right?

  4. Sherry

    My “hate my body” moments usually occur when I catch my profile in a store window. It’s amazing how you can be feeling really good about yourself, and then boom, you catch yourself in a mirror and there goes your confidence! Maybe I can just break all of the mirrors in my house! Although, it would probably make more sense to just learn to be kind to myself! Thanks for the kick!

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      Thank you Sherry, it is so strange how just one little moment can shatter our confidence…. (no shattering the mirrors!)

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