John and I got married on a Monday afternoon at San Francisco City Hall. There was no set-up or tear-down of decorations or chairs. There were no arches adorned with greenery and flowers. We didn’t have a rehearsal dinner because there was nothing to rehearse.
Instead we met John’s family and my best friend and her husband at City Hall at 3:30 in the afternoon on March 13, 2013 and stood before Judge Betty in the magnificent rotunda and both said “I do.”
Our morning started out with us walking hand-in-hand out the door of our hotel to a little coffee shop a few blocks away. Neither of us were nervous and there was no need to rush in order to get things ready for a big wedding.
It was exactly what we wanted.
One of my favorite memories of the day is John ironing my wedding dress. As I was putting rollers in my hair, I could see his reflection in the mirror and I smiled to myself and thought, “I wonder if he will be ironing something for me 30 years from now”?
My track recorded with marital longevity i
Would this one last?
All I knew in that moment was I was in love with the man who was skillfully ironing my wedding dress. He looked up and caught my eye in the mirror and smiled. I let his smile wash over me and finished getting ready for our day.
An hour later, we were climbing into the back of our Uber and heading to City Hall.
Stepping through the ornate entry doors we were engulfed in the grandeur of the place and greeted with smiles and hugs from family. At our appointed time we climbed the grand staircase and met our officiant, Judge Betty to go over the details.
She was a happy person who clearly loved this aspect of her job and a few minutes later we gathered our family around us and listened to Betty speak of love, marriage and commitment.
My heart was so full of promise for a future together but not in a naïve, wide-eyed way. I knew from experience what could go wrong and how forever was a moving target.
But I also knew the words John had spoken to me earlier and held onto them when I said, “Yes, I do.”
John and I knew love by itself might not be enough to hold us together through difficult times that surely lay ahead. So earlier that day, when it was just the two of us, he held my hand and looked me in the eye and said, “If you wander off, I’ll