A look inside

I’m off today.

I don’t mean off from work, I mean off emotionally.

We had a busy weekend working on a home we own that’s about six hours away from us. Each time we have been between tenants, we would head to the house to clean and paint and kept it looking good. We had renters in it for the past couple of years, and since they are out, it was time to go get it ready to sell.

We arrived on Friday night and were immediately disappointed by the state of the house. We’ve had renters in it before that have left it dirty and in disrepair, but this time was different.

The house was, for lack of a better word, worn. It was like stepping inside a once beautiful masterpiece, that was now faded and torn and lacking any luster of it’s glory years. It was sad to see it like that, and it got us down.

We set up camp and after dinner sat on the porch like we used to.

We were pretty quiet and both knew we had a lot of work ahead of us.

So, we spent the weekend working hard, cleaning, painting, cutting down hedges and trimming trees. Sunday evening came way too quickly, and we ended up leaving much later than we’d hoped. It was nearly midnight by the time we arrived back home.

So, I knew I was going to be a little tired this morning, but didn’t expect to feel the way I did. I felt, worn, like that old house. And I started to question if maybe I was once a beautiful masterpiece that was now fading and lacking the luster of my glory years.

Will some paint and trim help bring back the old me or will I need a complete overhaul?

Spending the day thinking about it, I think the real answer lies with who has been living inside and taking care of me. Maybe it’s time to kick out the tenant who is letting me get run down, and rediscover that person who respects and cares for me before it’s too late.

I have a lot of work ahead of me.


Self reflection is key

Reader Comments

  1. estellehodges

    I have so much to say about this, yet I can’t seem to find the right words. I believe happiness is an inside job, and it glows far and wide. Be happy. Let your glow shine through. You don’t need an overhaul, or even paint. You, my friend, are so very beautiful inside and out! You just need to remember!

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      Thank you. I have been feeling like I’m letting myself down, by not going the extra mile, so to speak. I’m doing the minimum so I can say I’m exercising or I’m eating right. This is a way for me to give myself a wake up call, and get back on track.

  2. Ilene

    I love this and needed to read it today because I’ve been pondering the meaning of “happiness”. So much to say about this. Thank you for your thoughts.

    • Loretta Sayers

      Thank you Ilene. We are bombarded with messages that we must be happy all the time. I like to feel all of my emotions and I’m okay with having down days. ?

  3. Martina

    Dear Loretta,
    You captured your thoughts in beautiful words! I made the experience that, as so often in this universe, the inner and the outer side are interwoven and you can not look at one without turning to the other. So start at the point that is easiest for you. Inside or outside – at the end it will all come together and you feel hole and fit and beautiful again. But I admit for me it is work every day …

Your thoughts? I would love to hear from you...

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