I haven’t been able to shake the feelings I’m experiencing right now. It started last week when I was on the road.
I’m irritable, and cranky on the inside.
I am also surprised by my negative thoughts and feelings of competition. Weird. I’ve felt like this previously in my life though – many times. I’ve never associated these feelings with what I’m eating before.
But I can see a correlation now.
I was feeling fantastic earlier. My weight was down, or more precisely, my belly fat was down, and my mood was so good. I was genuinely happy.
Then I hit the road for a weeklong trip to see my best friend, go to a bridal shower, and then up to Oregon to see my son. The very first misstep in my diet was at the bridal shower.
Platters of delicious food with cheese and gluten were plentiful. And…just a little shouldn’t bother me, right?
I ate wonderful healthy food at my best friend’s house, but also added a little more of the things that affect me to my plate. It was all delicious. And then I left and headed North after the weekend.
Pasta is one of those meals that is not only easy to make, but oh so yummy, so of course the first night at my son’s I made pasta. And not that gluten-free kind either.
I continued throughout the week on this path and topped it off Friday, on my way home, by ordering a Chicken Caesar wrap for the ride. Only 15 minutes later I was in so much pain and ready to explode – literally.
Luckily a rest stop wasn’t too far down the road or I’m not sure what would have happened.
As soon as I got back home, John and I met my son and daughter in law to pick up our granddaughters for the week. And on our way home, stopped for hamburgers at Five Guys.
So here I am, bloated and tired and oh so cranky on the inside. At least I can control (somewhat) how I’m expressing myself on the outside, though John may disagree.
The truly bad part is, I don’t know how to stop feeling this way and stop eating the things that are affecting me so greatly. It’s like being caught inside a whirlwind with no way out.
I had no idea what I wanted to write about today, and decided to just start writing what I was feeling. The absolutely best thing to come from this blog is my own self-exploration and realization.
Perhaps this is the best way to pull myself out of the whirlwind.
So I’m going to do my best to jump out of it and eat the foods I know work for me. I’ll make the girls something they like but avoid taking bites.
And, hopefully I’ll start to feel like myself again.